New every morning!

The sun is shining so beautifully this morning. It’s like a soft warm blanket across the cityscape. It has a subtle glow that does not disturb the eyes. Definitely want to bask in its rays, no thinning ozone layer can really get this dazzle away from mr. Sun’s performance this morning. I so love it. Whoever thought of the phrase ‘carry your weather with you always’ must have this morning in mind.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, they are new every morning!” Yes, and it’s splendid.

I’m gonna steal some time to walk a stretch to buy coffee outside and enjoy my morning sun  Yes, mine and mine alone 

On my way to work, so many thoughts played and replayed in my head. Regrets that I could have spent more time with a child I just recently fell in love with. She’s very charming and sweet. Full of promises. I really long to take care of her, and guide her and watch her grow to be a fine young lady who is so blessed by the Lord with every good thing possible. But before I can even wrap my arms around this very beautiful gift, it had disappeared. As the song goes, some good things never last. Hmmm, on second thought, the major things do.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, they are new every morning!” Yes, and it’s awesome!

Heart of Worship

Heart of Worship shook me up like an 8.9.

 “When the music fades, and all is stripped away…” A certain song was with me for about a year. It was a symphony, a classic, a rock n roll, a mellow song all at the same time. I’d always been happy to have it. Thankful at most times that I found something new that would give a different promise in my future. It gave me a feeling of pride & great expectations. It made me walk on clouds. It had the potential of altering almost everything in my life had I decided to give in to all of it.

However, the song had to fade, just like any other song. It played its last chorus, and strummed its last verse. The last note was the saddest because of the silence that came after.

“I will simply come…longing just to bring something that’s of worth, that will bless your heart”    NO. Me=Stubborn. I suddenly became the epitome of stubbornness. One and the same. Me=Stubbornness=Hardheadedness. I really can’t come. Not simply or even in complicated form. The frustration was unacceptable. The loneliness was just so strong. The pain, plainly relentless and excruciating. The one thing that the Lord has taught me even before I got my song, is to stop hypocrisy specially against my own self. I can’t be a hypocrite before God because I would already be found out even before I even plan to. But my own self, this is the one person I can easily deceive.

“I’ll bring you more than a song, for the song in itself is not what you have required. You search much deeper within, with the way things appear, You’re looking into my heart.” I need to come despite the emptiness. I need to bring this brokenness, but I can’t get up and walk. No more strength left. No more encouraging ideas. No more sunshine to touch me and wake me up. Utter depression has weighed me down.

“I’m coming back to the heart of worship, cause it’s all about You, it’s all about You Jesus. I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it, cause it’s all about You, it’s all about You Jesus.” Life is not about me. It’s all about You, yet You bothered to make it about me when You gave Yourself for me on the cross. It was no trivial act. It was a matter of life and death. If You loved me that much, I know I can trust You, even if life is not really about me. You’re the source of everything and I hope I can go back to worshipping You and thanking You and praising You. And singing Your song …not mine.

TGIF

Here’s attempting to write another blog after I lost the first one I saved as draft.  I wonder where it went.

Thank God it’s Friday.  

I wonder what’s with Fridays.  I’ve been staring at the spreadsheet in front of me, scrolling up and down forcing some braincells to move with it.  Friday phenomenon.  For one, it’s close to my two favorite days.  But you know, close is always  not enough, still short of being the real thing. 

Saturdays and Sundays I love.  Some people look forward to it so they can stay in bed longer.  I just can’t do that.  I feel that weekend is too short for “me” time.  I cook, garden, meet up with friends, bond with family, laugh, read, write, play with children, volunteer in church, do some shopping, tidy up the house, do something creative, try something new, learn a new skill and sometimes laze around when i need to.  All in two days.  It’s just not enough so I always look forward to the next one.

Hence, Fridays make me smile.

God did rest only on the 7th day.  He “worked” to create the world during the 6 days.  But He loved what He saw.  Lesson learned.  Give my best during the 5 days.  Love the results.  And enjoy my rest days.  Thank God…I’ve got two.

Learn a skill, help people, reach out to the needy, touch hearts, inspire them to know eternity and God’s love.  Be sincere, be honest, and everybody will be happy…

Secret by OMD

I got a secret and I can’t explain
All the time, I’ve waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you’d better just wait and see

This is all, this is all
You heard a message and the message was clear
All the time you wipe away that tear
And all I want is to hold your hand
To see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad and you make me glad
My secret is this love
Is love, is love
All my secret is this love

Everyday you’re always there
You comfort me
And make me feel it’s worth my while
And then I look around and you’re not there
And everyday you say you care and I’ll beware
This is all, this is all

I’ve got a secret and I can’t explain
All I want is to hold your hand
All along I was never in doubt
To see the sun and to walk the sand

Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars..

Protected:

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Inspired by Jacob

Have you ever tried asking God so many questions because you just couldn’t understand? One “why” pops up before one is even uttered?  “Why did it happen?”, “Did I ask for it?”,  ”What did I do?”  Have you ever requested something from Him and yet you only get silence, which seems to mean wait?  Or have you even received a NO and struggled to understand the logic behind? 

I have.  The process is strenuous.  I ask, beg, bargain, argue until I decide to step back.  In the end, even if God doesn’t give in to my incessant clamoring, I feel relieved.  It’s because of the hope that I get as I spend time in that powerful presence.  It’s because I know He understood, that I had to let my heart out without the risk of being misinterpreted. It’s because I know He still loves me, sacrificial, unconditional as well as sanctifying.  And that I have conceded, accepting that He knows better than I do. 

Let me share what Philip Yancey said about Jacob’s wrestling match with God:

“Our no-holds-barred outbursts hardly threaten God, and sometimes they even seem to change God.  As the touch on Jacob’s hip socket proved, God could have ended the match at any point during that long night in the desert.  Instead the elusive figure lingered, as eager to be held as Jacob was to hold.”

Just like Jacob, I want to hold. Strongly and firmly until He blesses me with His presence.

I Simply Came (Not By Choice)

This is a tale of gains and losses.  This happened two months ago so please bear with me if I can’t remember some details.  Aside from the two-month factor, there’s also the other factor which I’m sure some of my reader friends have already guessed and would most probably be giggling to.  Hmp. 

I decided to watch the concert of Sonicflood last August 15 at the Araneta Coliseum.  I left the office in Global City at 4pm so I can avoid the infamous MRT crowd in Ayala.  It had been an easy travel riding the train, no hassles, no congestion,  weather was fine, drizzled only when I was in Cubao already.  I was going to meet the rest of the pack in Cubao MRT Station but since I arrived early, I thought I’d go malling in Gateway.  My plans were changed when I saw a familiar face in Farmers, a churchmate who as I surmised correctly was also going to watch the concert.  I hooked up with her, she herself just whiling the time away.  So we decided we would eat.  But where? Both not familiar to the place, we looked around… Chowking? nope.. there’s a Starbucks somewhere she said.. she also needed to recharge her cellphone… but nope.. let’s just use my cellphone in contacting our common friends… and then beside us is KFC Farmers… why not? so we agreed….

We ordered, friend paid for the bill, and we sat at a table that’s on the right side of the room.  It’s a bit crowded because the tables were set closely to one another.  If I remember right (yeah right), it’s a single lane aisle between tables, only one person can pass and if his size is more than average, he would have to move sideways. 

So I tried to get comfy with my friend.  And then there’s the cellphone thing, you know, text the pack every now and then just to check where they are.  My new friend is really … friendly and funny.  We laughed at stories, joking about our other companions, talked about ourselves, the concert, sonicflood, and of course we consumed this new pasta stuff that KFC had just launched.

And then the thing happened…………… when we got to our table i sat across my friend.  There was another seat beside me that was vacant.  So i placed my bag on the chair beside me.  While I was so absorbed with the chitchat, I was doing this intermittent checking of my bag.  It’s a habit of mine.  So I kept touching it with my left hand.. stroking it, opening it, closing it, moving it a little…talk about details huh!  The next minute, when some guy carrying a big backpack passed and i felt that I had to move my bag because it might get pushed and fall, MY BAG WASN’T THERE ANYMORE!  I looked under the table, under the chairs, at the man who just passed, at the people sitting beside us.  My friend was staring at me, looking confused.  I said I lost my bag.  It didn’t sink.  I said it again.  But I didn’t care about her, I was in panic and trying to think fast.  I was looking at people around me suspiciously and they were so quick to tell me they didn’t see anything.  It was probably the look I was giving them.  Sorry guys .  I was going around the room, didn’t see any security guard, saw a crew and told him about it, asked for the manager, talked to the manager but she was not of much help. Really.  Maybe because she’s so used to this happening.  I asked if i could use their landline to contact my bank to block my cards, she hesitated, i didn’t feel welcome.  She asked of the bank, and she said there’s one right in front, it would be faster if I go there.  I ran to the bank, explained, called hotline, waited for a good 30-minute (so hard to wait during that time) and finally got them all blocked. 

 

Thank God for giving me a new friend, for an enjoyable concert, and I still thank Him despite me losing the 3c’s (cash, cards, cosmetics) and my best travel buddy, my ipod.  God is good because my concert ticket was inside my pocket and my cellphone was on the table.  It felt so different, because God allowed me to truly enjoy the praise songs in the concert. Having nothing, just me and the clothes that I had on, I sang … “when the music fades, and all is stripped away… I will simply come.. “  And indeed I simply came, not by choice.  It felt different, not bad, not good. Just different.

Audience of One

 “God made me fast.  And when I run I feel His pleasure..” - Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire. 

Lately, I have been challenged by the thought that I’ll strive to make Him smile.  Just Him.  Like a teacher of a budding musician in a recital…He is my only audience.

 

Specially now that I realized that there’s a growing number of people around me who are clamoring to be pleased.  Trying your best just doesn’t work.  The efforts become futile.  One set gets pleased, the other doesn’t.  Might as well enroll in juggling 101, how to look up while keeping your hands busy. 

 

Not an easy challenge I must say.  Having an audience of one.  Shutting your senses to the applause of others.  If only I can “clear the mechanism..” as Kevin Costner in For Love of the Game puts it.  He just steps on the base, and pitches the baseball, forgetting the noisy clamoring crowd. 

But when I read the write up below, somehow a weight got lifted.  Forgiveness, grace, kindness, mercy… my other audiences don’t have these.

Submerged in Mercy
Saturday, September 20, 2008
“[God] has not punished us as our sins should be punished.”
Psalm 103:10

Do you really think you haven’t done things that hurt Christ?

Have you ever been dishonest with his money? That’s cheating.

Ever gone to church to be seen rather than to see him? Hypocrite.

Ever broken a promise you’ve made to God?

Don’t you deserve to be punished? And yet, here you are. Reading this book. Breathing. Still witnessing sunsets and hearing babies gurgle. Still watching the seasons change. There are no lashes on your back or hooks in your nose or shackles on your feet. Apparently God hasn’t kept a list of your wrongs.

Listen. You have not been sprinkled with forgiveness. You have not been spattered with grace. You have not been dusted with kindness. You have been immersed in it. You are submerged in mercy. You are a minnow in the ocean of his mercy. Let it change you!

1 of 365 devotionals in Grace for the Moment, Volume 2 Originally printed in A Love Worth Giving